I don’t always make plans. Presently, my laundry is begging for attention. It’s an hour from last call at the laundromat and I’m not bothering with it. I have socks and drawers for tomorrow. It’ll do.
I get paid to make plans, and by all accounts that matter (by which I mean those of my chief), I’m pretty good at it. In the part of life for which I’m not for sale, (Real Life), I can be counted on to have coffee and cigarettes and enough gas in the tank and probably an avocado (or liverwurst) and wine; I’m naturally inclined to share. (I’m a twin.)
Some time ago, I stopped fretting my meagre holdings as deficient or deficiency. Admittedly, it can be a chore to choke out Guilt when I come home from work and do not continue to work.
In Real Life, I don’t plan so much. I read. I write. I read more than I write. Recently, I’ve been keeping my distance from writing fiction with something like dedicated precision. Some of this is to do with the unceasing demand of getting up and going to work rather than having endless hours to pace in my studio, go outside to smoke, drink coffee and construct.
An aside about the pacing of studio, making/drinking of coffee and smoking, since some people do not do this:
I’m a thinky, feely, bright person and I’m not pin-point focused. When I’m having a hard time stringing language into words, I do chores, give up to finger paints. I draw or sculpt to remove phlegm from my brain. I’ve been known to cook some fucked up amazing brussel sprouts. I’ve made bacon-infused bourbon butter.
There’s always music going.
My own writing of late is journalism or memoir and I’ve been on a mile-wide streak observing, not always with rapt intention. A few weeks ago, I got up on a stool at a whisky bar in DTLA to have a drink, killing time as I made my way to the Observatory for sunset.
“Makers, double. Neat. Water back, please. Can I buy you a shot?”
I had out no tiny notebook, no smartphone, no laptop.
Here’s what happened next:
“Hey, I’m Al. Let me get your drinks, I want you to hear my story. You’re a writer.”
I ordered bourbon in a whisky bar. This doesn’t seem like it would indicate much past “I’m keen on bourbon.” I listen to Al for a while.
The next five people who come know Al in some degree of Kevin Bacon, and all of them are cajoled to telling me a story and buying me a drink. I’m on foot and Metro, so I’m mostly fine with this.
Except the part where everyone accepts I’m a writer and I haven’t.